I was invited by a friend a few days ago to give a talk at a local entrepreneurs and business owners’ networking meeting. (We-Network Group) What do you say to skilful business people who clearly knew where they were going when they decided to set up their businesses and create their own destiny?
It occurred to me that personal growth has no finish line and so long we are alive, we will continue to learn and hopefully grow. Whether you have your own business or work for somebody else, the starting point is the same; You have relationships with your family, friends, co-workers, employees, employers, customers and indeed anyone you come into contact with. However, the quality and impact of these relationships start from you and the only way to ensure the quality and continuing growth of these relationships is to understand you better.
My coach and mentor Bob Proctor always said that when you understand who you are,then you are able to understand others better and how true this is. Aldous Huxley once said that “there is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving and this is your own self.” These gave me the inspiration to talk about SELF-IMAGE. With the right self-image, everyone is unstoppable.
Everyone has a self-image whether positive or negative and this image we hold of ourselves was created before you could utter the word p-a-a-a. Psychologists often refer to the mind of babies as ‘tabula rasa’ meaning blank slate, claiming that infants have no built-in mental content and their knowledge comes from experience. It is accepted that hereditary plays some part on how people turn out as adults but let’s look closely at how our self image was formed from environmental influences.
Everyone has a mind; conscious and subconscious mind. The conscious mind is the educated mind that originates ideas, is intellectual and can accept or reject ideas or anything. The subconscious mind on the other hand is the emotional and universal mind; it must accept anything that is impressed upon it. Our ability to hear, taste, touch, smell and see lies in the conscious mind and therefore the average person sees and relates to the world from these senses. Over reliance on these senses creates the illusion of limitations and lack that we see in our lives and our inability to produce results bigger than we currently have.
One of the questions I asked the group was “why human beings use less than 10% of their potential?” What happens to the rest of 90% of our capacity? The answer rests with our self-image. You see, infants up to the age of four have no conscious mind to speak of. Their subconscious mind is dominant and therefore is unable to reject ideas or information; it must accept everything that is given to it. So whatever parents, family, TV/media, school and everyone around says to the child at this age, it is soaked in like a sponge and stays there. So when a child hears things like: you are useless; you will amount to nothing; you are ugly; you are fat; you have no intelligence; you are brilliant and clever; you are beautiful; etc. these messages take hold and form the child’s self-image. So a child that is raised with lots of praise grows up as a positive, can do adult and conversely, a child that is raised with lots of criticisms grows up uncertain, with low self-esteem.
The seeds of self-doubt were sown early and reinforced throughout childhood into adulthood and so when you want to do something and a small voice whispers: who do you think you are; you’re not smart enough; you don’t have enough money or time; you’re too old or you can’t do it, remember that this is the voice of conditioning that has taken place throughout your life up to this point. We call these paradigms, which are multitude of habits; other people’s habits programmed into you. Your predominant thought patterns determine how you relate to yourself and to others including your potential and real customers. If you like yourself (not in a conceited way), others will like you and you will find it easier to succeed in anything you do. The reverse is the case when you look in the mirror and you don’t like what you see. Consider whose thoughts you think; yours or other people’s!
You would be right to ask why some people are very successful. This is a legitimate observation. It is well known that about 3% of the population controls 96% of the world’s wealth. This was not accidental. The likes of Andrew Carnegie, Thomas Edison, Alexander Graham Bell, the Wright Brothers, Sir Richard Branson, Oprah Winfrey, to mention a few, achieved or continue to achieve amazing success and huge legacies. They were/are no different from the rest of us; however what separated them from an average person is how they used/use their mind. These people learned to use their intellectual faculties to a considerable degree and therefore operated from inside out instead of allowing their senses and outside world to dictate to them.
Many people spend their lives in other people’s shadows whether at home, work or business. By right, we are all stars in the movies of our lives. Ask yourself this: are you an extra in your own movie or are you the star?
Chuka Agbasiere is a holistic results coach and Thinking Into Results Facilitator. She works with people to use their mind with its unlimited potential to create business success and personal growth. You can find out more about Chuka at: http://www.visioninsuccess.com
Vision In Success – Executive/Corporate Coach & Mentor
‘Thinking Into Results’ Facilitator
T: +44 (0) 330 330 3064 M: +44 (0) 7989 600 918